marriage · Thoughts · Working Mom

Midnight Thoughts: Can you work too much?

Is there such a thing as working too much? During these times where some find themselves unemployed, I am asking myself if I am working too much. Isn’t that crazy? I feel blessed that I can still work.

I feel a bit guilty too. I know I am doing what I can to contribute and honestly my full time job is essential. In this state, our small business is also essential. (Lawn Care). I work just about 7 days a week right now. This is peak season for lawn care and my husband needs the help. I don’t mind helping because this is my business too. On my breaks from my regular job, I answer messages from the business. We answer messages after hours too so we can write out our schedule.

The constant question I get is how many lawns do we service daily.  A little background. My husband started our business shortly after leaving active duty Army. He started by mowing as a hobby. It started becoming a job shortly after that and we had NO IDEA how fast we would grow. We laid out a plan to invest into our small business and decided on equipment that was going to help us. We quickly grew in our second year and since then we can fill 7 days of lawn care if we wanted to do that. We do not though. Lawn care is hard work. So on the daily, anywhere from 4 to 8 lawns. We are okay with this.

Since Covid, I have been helping my husband a lot more. But because the kids are not in school, balancing home school is so challenging! My kids are pretty self sufficient but taking care of them while doing everything else is still our number one priority.

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Is there such thing as working too much? Absolutely. I think I have reached my limit and sadly our season with our small business is at it’s peak. One thing I have done to help alleviate some of the stress of working is taking time off. There it is…the secret. I took time off from my regular full time job and also our small business to plan a small getaway. The state has reopened fishing and we are going to take advantage of some of the trails that have also reopened. I NEED a break. I know my husband does too. BUT why do I feel guilty?

I think I feel guilty because others really do depend on us. We are on a tight schedule right now and we finally discovered a rhythm to our new normal. But now that we have done that, we realize how little free time we have as a couple! That has been one of our main challenges lately. Finding time to have a relationship. There lies my guilt. We put our relationship on hold and have become business partners and co-parents. Who wants that?

I am relieved because we both recognized this early on, really in the past few weeks that we didn’t make time for each other anymore. We haven’t dated each other in a long time. I mean the reality is that we haven’t planned an outing because dates outside the home are more challenging. No late night movie dates or happy hours to attend. Our weekly dating has gone out the window. We used to pick up lunch together on Wednesdays when the kids were in school. That hasn’t happened in months.

What we decided to do is shift our business schedule so that it allows for a free day to do whatever we feel like. NO WORK. Just a day to explore, date, and also take the kids on some adventures. We love trails and lakes so that will be our plan. We can also do dates at home. We can do a campfire or a dinner without the kids. Movie night with some candles. There are plenty of dating ideas to be done while not having to go out all of the time. It sounds silly that we have to schedule dates but sometimes you just HAVE to and don’t feel bad about it.

Clearly, I have had a lot on my mind lately. We had a concert to attend in May that was cancelled. We had been planning that date night since February. We still have the tickets for a future date on that concert and I can’t wait!

When there is all work and no play, it makes for sad days. I have been emotionally stressed and tired lately. I recognized that some days I would just check out. I had no interest in what my husband was talking about. That is sad. I would tune everyone out. I lost my patience easily and had no drive to do anything. I don’t want to call it depression but I knew I was sad. I knew it was time for change. I typically bottle my feelings up and that is so unhealthy because just the other night, that pressure built up and let my husband know exactly what I was feeling. We both came to the conclusion that we did need to work on our relationship. I am not ashamed to admit that and I am happy that I was not the only one sad about it all. My husband recognized that we no longer dated anymore and we were just co-existing. WE will make changes. LESS work and more play.

Marriage is such a balancing act. Family life and financial responsibility are too. Trying to find the right balance could take days, weeks and months to figure out. At some point you’ll have to make a plan and schedule time off. I am blessed to have a husband who will listen and be understanding. I am one stubborn woman! Ha.

So if you feel like you’re going through the same or have any suggestions, please leave me a comment. I know better days are to come. One day at a time.

 

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